Everything You Need to Know About New Relationship Energy

What Is 'New Relationship Energy'? Here's What You Should Know About Its Pros... and Cons

You’ve seen that couple before. Heck, may have been that couple at some point.

They can’t keep their hands off each other, they’re oozing lust and laughter, and it almost seems as if there’s a magnetic-like pull between them.

We’re talking about new relationship energy (NRE) — which, as the name of the term implies, tends to peak in those early months of dating. It’s impossible to miss, and for some, it’s so intoxicating that they’ll hop from relationship to relationship just trying to re-capture those butterflies.

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So, how long does new relationship energy last for? What are the pros — and cons? And is it possible to extend that energy further into your relationship? Here’s what the experts have to say.

What Is New Relationship Energy?

According to Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship expert at Hily, NRE is the energy that’s cultivated when excitement and curiosity are at an all-time high — when every conversation and every experience still feels new.

“This phase is typically marked by strong feelings of attraction, curiosity, and optimism — it’s when everything about the other person feels fresh, fascinating, and full of possibility,” says Ross Kellogg, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You might find yourself thinking about your new partner constantly, and feel energized just by being near them.”

According to Kellogg, not only is NRE totally natural, but it actually serves a purpose when dating someone new.

“It often acts as emotional ‘glue,’ helping two people build closeness,” he explains. “This state is sometimes driven by a cocktail of brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which enhance pleasure, bonding, and focus.”

Wondering where this term came from?

Wendy Walsh, a clinical psychologist and dating expert with DatingAdvice.com, says psychologist Dorothy Tennov originally explored this concept in the 1970s.

Tennov called this state of intense infatuation “limerence.”

Then, in the 1980s, the term “new relationship energy” emerged out of the poly community — more specifically, it was coined by someone named Zhanai Stewart, whose online posts described a “rush of escalating emotional connection” and “hot juiciness of a growing sexual attraction” in his polyamorous relationships.

How Long Does New Relationship Energy Last?

It’s important to acknowledge that every relationship is unique — so, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about when NRE will expire.

That said, Isabelle Morley, a clinical psychologist and couple’s therapist, says it typically lasts between six months and two years — and other experts tend to agree. But as thrilling as NRE can be, it’s actually a good thing that it doesn’t last forever.

“Your body simply can’t sustain that level of hormone production and energy expenditure in the long term,” Morley explains. “Plus, you get used to the other person and your attachment becomes more stable and secure, leading to less of the frenzied eagerness for closeness that characterized the start of your relationship.”

According to Brianna Halasa, LMHC, a licensed therapist, NRE tends to be strongest in the first few months, gradually fading as the relationship stabilizes and you and your partner develop more realistic views of each other.

But keep in mind that how long it lasts can depend on a number of factors.

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“For example, it may vary based on emotional intensity, frequency of interaction, life circumstances, and even individual attachment styles,” explains Kellogg.

New Relationship Energy vs. the Honeymoon Period

“NRE and the ‘honeymoon period’ are often used interchangeably, but they’re not identical,” explains Halasa. “The honeymoon period refers more broadly to the early phase of a relationship where conflict is minimal and partners tend to be on their best behavior. NRE is specifically about the emotional and neurochemical rush that occurs.”

In other words, whereas the honeymoon period refers solely to the romantic experience of new love, NRE encompasses all the physiological and psychological experiences.

“Also, NRE is a term often used in polyamorous or non-monogamous communities to describe the energy in any new relationship — while the ‘honeymoon period’ traditionally refers to the early months of a marriage or monogamous partnership,” adds Kellogg. “They usually overlap, but NRE is more about internal feelings, while the honeymoon period also encompasses external dynamics like fewer arguments and idealized perceptions.”

Pros & Cons of New Relationship Energy

There are definitely both perks and pitfalls to NRE. Here are some to consider, according to experts:

Pros

• Your motivation is likely to increase: “NRE often brings excitement, hope, and positive energy into other areas of life,” says Kellogg.
• There’s potential for a self-esteem boost: According to Kellogg, feeling so cherished, valued, and desired by your new partner can make you feel pretty good about yourself — increasing self-worth and self-confidence.
• You experience a pleasure surge: The flood of so-called “feel-good” brain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin can feel — well, pretty darn good. “It’s a natural high,” explains Morley.
• There’s newfound optimism: NRE can give you a brighter outlook on life in general, says Morley. The excitement and promise around this new relationship may help to soften life’s blows, and make you feel optimistic about your future.
• You’re more likely to be vulnerable: NRE encourages you to be vulnerable as you seek to deepen intimacy with a new person, says Morley. And the more vulnerable you are with that person, the more likely you are to feel that you can be authentically yourself — and still be lovable.

Cons

• It can be addictive: Because NRE feels so good, Cohen says it’s not uncommon to get caught in a cycle of leaving relationships when it wanes to start something new that will stoke that same energy again. “In that respect it can lead you to constantly want to chase NRE.”
• You may miss red flags: NRE can cause you to view your new partner through rose-colored glasses. Angelika Koch, a relationships and breakup expert at Taimi, notes that while idealizing your partner, you may overlook some problematic behaviors, incompatible values, etc. “It can cause you to cross your own boundaries with the hopes of gaining that person's favor as well as mask who you truly are and while settling in a relationship,” she says.
• It can throw your life out of balance: NRE can be so all-consuming that you may find you’re neglecting work, self-care, and other relationships and responsibilities, says Kellogg.
• It might cloud your judgement: Because NRE can quite literally alter your brain chemistry, Halasa says it’s important to be aware that it might impact your judgement — and lead to impulsive, rash decision-making. “Under the influence of NRE, people sometimes make life-altering choices too quickly — moving in together, merging finances, or making long-term commitments before fully knowing their partner,” says Kellogg. Some of those decisions may be hard to roll back or come with difficult consequences — especially when they involve major moves like buying a house together or getting married, says Walsh.
• Unrealistic expectations: “The feelings associated with NRE can become a benchmark as to the overall relationship health,” says Cohen. According to Morley, you may begin to expect that relationships should always sustain this kind of intense attraction and enthusiasm. This sets you up for continual disappointment when the NRE inevitably fades

Can You Maintain New Relationship Energy?

It’s important to acknowledge that NRE will eventually fade — and that’s OK, experts say. Not only is this shift normal, but it’s actually healthy — and comes with some benefits.

“Human relationships are dynamic, and the early stage of infatuation isn’t meant to last forever,” Kellogg tells AskMen. “Our nervous systems simply can’t sustain the constant emotional high of NRE indefinitely, and that’s not a flaw — it’s biology’s way of making room for a deeper, more resilient form of love.”

“When NRE fades, what often follows is a shift from passion to partnership,” he notes. “You begin to see your partner more clearly. If the relationship is rooted in respect, care, and shared values, this next phase can be even more rewarding, offering a sense of stability, emotional security, and enduring companionship.”

In other words, Kellogg says, the fading of NRE isn’t the end of the magic — it’s the beginning of something even deeper, more meaningful, and more sustainable.

“Think of it like moving from the thrill of lighting a match to the steady warmth of a campfire,” he explains.

And when those rose-colored glasses do come off, Halasa says you’ll be able to really see whether you and your partner are truly compatible.

All that said, experts agree you can still nurture feelings that emulate NRE and prolong the excitement by pursuing new experiences together, surprising each other, and making concerted efforts to build physical and emotional intimacy.

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“Stay curious,” says Kellogg. “Continue asking questions, learning about your partner, and showing genuine interest. Go on new adventures together, try new hobbies, travel, or even just switch up your date nights.”

“Novelty stimulates the brain in similar ways to early relationship experiences,” Kellogg adds. Practice gratitude and appreciation by regularly expressing what you value about each other. Make it a point to be fully present when you’re together, setting aside distractions, and truly listening. And cultivate vulnerability by sharing thoughts, feelings, and fears as openly as you did in the early days.”

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